Useful Idiots
Politics • Comedy
"F you!" – Morning Joe gets desperate
Plus, John Kirby wishes he could stop funneling weapons to Israel
March 07, 2024
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“F you, if you can’t handle the truth!” spews a smug Joe Scarborough, who readies his hundreds of viewers for the truth bomb he’s about to drop: “This version of Biden, intellectually, analytically, is the best Biden ever.”

BOOM! Can’t handle it? EFF YOU!

If you don’t believe that this senile warmonger, as Chas Freeman called him, is the best Biden ever, you’re actually among the majority of the country, even the majority of Democrats, but you’d all be wrong, because, and here’s the proof, Morning Joe adds: “If it weren’t the truth, I wouldn’t say it.”

And if you continue with the theme of believing the words of raging propagandists, you’re gonna feel really bad for John Kirby, who wishes so hard that he had the strength to stop flooding Israel with weapons. Hear him refer to the millions of starving Palestinians as if the food shortage is some unavoidable natural disaster, rather than his personal handiwork.

But it’s not all good news for the warmongers…today we’re pouring one out for one of America’s most dangerous (and most bipartisan) neocons, Victoria Nuland. Her sudden exit comes just days after she threatened Putin (with whom, if you recall, the US is not currently engaged in war) with “some very nasty surprises on the battlefield in 2024.” No word yet if that’s the reason for her surprise departure.

It’s a busy week, with even some visits from Useful Idiots favorites Brian Stelter and the Chuckster. You won’t want to miss it.

It’s our Thursday bonus episode. Let us know in the comments what corporate media monologues, interviews, or anything else you want to see on the next Thursday Throwdown.

Subscribe to watch the full episode here:

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Sanctions Are a Form of Warfare

“Sanctions are a form of war. They’re economic warfare. And they destroy people’s lives.”

Joshua Landis (https://twitter.com/joshua_landis), Sandra Mackey Chair in Middle East Studies at the University of Oklahoma, is one of the foremost experts on Syria. This week, as Syria, along with neighbor Turkiye, grapples with the aftermath of the devastating earthquake, Professor Landis joins the Useful Idiots to explain the deadly consequences that sanctions pile on to the damage.

“America likes to talk about all its precision bombing and hitting someone with a drone to avoid collateral damage,” Landis explains. “But sanctions? It’s all about collateral damage. Very little of it is targeted.”

But if you read corporate media outlets like the New York Times or Washington Post, you’d find a much different story. Both papers this week published headlines that were hastily changed when they realized they were being a little too truthful. See if you can tell the difference:

The ...

00:01:17
"Shameful" New York Times Changes Headline to Protect Sanctions

“Sanctions are a form of war. They’re economic warfare. And they destroy people’s lives.”

Joshua Landis (https://twitter.com/joshua_landis), Sandra Mackey Chair in Middle East Studies at the University of Oklahoma, is one of the foremost experts on Syria. This week, as Syria, along with neighbor Turkiye, grapples with the aftermath of the devastating earthquake, Professor Landis joins the Useful Idiots to explain the deadly consequences that sanctions pile on to the damage.

“America likes to talk about all its precision bombing and hitting someone with a drone to avoid collateral damage,” Landis explains. “But sanctions? It’s all about collateral damage. Very little of it is targeted.”

But if you read corporate media outlets like the New York Times or Washington Post, you’d find a much different story. Both papers this week published headlines that were hastily changed when they realized they were being a little too truthful. See if you can tell the difference:

The ...

00:01:24
Free preview: Matt Taibbi Exposes Russiagate Bots

With Matt Taibbi’s Twitter Files and Jeff Gerth’s new in-depth reporting for CJR exposing the years of lies spread by Russiagaters, bitter attacks from outed journalists are rolling in.

Gerth and Taibbi, who come from the old style of journalism where you fact check your work and don’t accept government officials’ claims on faith, have each shown clear, indisputable evidence of disinformation campaigns pushed by corporate reporters. And since the so-called journalists can’t argue the facts, they dig themselves a deeper hole with more lies and name-calling.

Jeff Gerth has been working as a reporter for decades and published, in the very mainstream Columbia Journalism Review, a 20,000-word report on his findings, only to be called a liar and misdirecting magician in the most self-important article by Mother Jones’ David Corn (“The true media failure is that Trump got away with it and that articles like this one that you are now reading are still necessary.”) And possibly worse ...

00:54:34

Emphasized "Dancing with 88

I have altered space here—   to

a rupture in the silent fabric,

where every atom reclaims its song.

A change, seen on my 90° angle,

becomes the pivot of a daring ballet,

the precise intersection where fate unspools.

In that crisp right-angle lie the secrets

of all absorbed twilight and reborn dawns,

a moment where geometry becomes prophecy,

transmuting static lines into dynamic rhythms,

inviting the cosmos to twirl in unexpected arcs.

And then—

I find myself dancing with 88,

a numeral of resonance, a muse of mystery.

It whispers in binary beats,

each pulse a portal leading into

symphonies scribbled on the canvas of space-time.

This is no choreographed routine,

but a wild, liberated waltz

where dimensions bend and merge—

where the old order crumbles

under the heat of relentless transformation

and every step unearths a layer of being.

At that 90° juncture,

the universe unfolds like a secret map,

revealing uncharted realms in every fracture,

while 88 becomes the score for a cosmic ballet,

...

Has the Gaza Pier Been Beached? | Army Watercraft come ashore off Gaza and Israel

March 26, 2024

Good to be part of the community. I think that Aaron and Katie do a brilliant job in these hellish times when such great in - depth research and reporting are essential.

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When Even the Newsmax Guy Calls Out Your Cuba Lies
Plus, Stephen Miller does a double suck-up on Fox News

This week, Kentucky GOP Rep. James Comer went on Newsmax, the furthest to the right a cable news network can be, to discuss the US’s sudden increased aggression against Cuba, and proceeded to say the wrong thing so many times that even the Newsmax host Rob Finnerty sounded like he could be hosting Useful Idiots.

Read this excerpt from the interview, then we’ll talk:

Finnerty: This Cuba thing -- people struggle with how this is America first when gas is $4.55 a gallon right now.

Rep. Comer: You’re absolutely right, but at the end of the day, Cuba has always been a national security threat. We’ve been negotiating with Cuba since before I was born! The negotiations have gone nowhere, Cuba’s leader is at the end of his lifespan, the Cuban people clearly, unlike maybe the Iranian people, want a regime change in Cuba.

Finnerty: But do you really think Cuba’s a threat?

Rep. Comer: If some country went in and loaded Cuba with the same drones Iran had when we first started bombing Iran, then yes I think it could be a threat. The CIA’s on the ground as we speak. We’ve to be on guard because of the new types of warfare that’s out there with these new drones and technology.

Finnerty: I’ll be honest, to me this just sounds like we’re trying to make the case to attack Cuba. I don’t buy it. It sounds like a false flag operation.

Katie and Aaron have about a million ways to mock this dude.

First, who has been negotiating with Cuba? The US has famously refused to negotiate, choosing instead to strangle them with an embargo and destroy their economy with murderous sanctions. That’s what could be called the exact opposite of negotiation.

Second, when he says Cuba’s leader is at the end of his lifespan, what is he talking about? President Miguel Díaz-Canel is 66 and at a quick glance seems to be healthy. Which means that unless that’s some weird mafia-style riddle threat, Comer thinks that Raúl Castro is still the president of Cuba. He doesn’t know the leader of the government he’s trying to run a regime-change against!

Third, (and yes we’re still only on his first answer) did he just admit that the Iranian people, against every talking point that the Trump Administration and their bosses in Israel have worked so hard to convince Americans of, don’t want regime change? The Newsmax host stares at his guest as Comer accidentally undoes a year of propaganda. And it only get’s crazier:

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Is Genocide Worth It If We Get To Have Cherry Tomatoes?
Plus, FBI Director Kash Patel gets OWNED by Dem Senator Patty Murray

“I hear people say, ‘I don’t want anything to do with Israel,’” says US Ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee on a podcast called JC ZC, which stands for Judeo-Christian Zionist Congress (which is also the only type of podcast that religious fanatics like Huckabee can get on anymore).

He continues: “I say, ‘Okay, give up your cell phone. Give up car navigation. Give up conveniences like cherry tomatoes and seedless watermelons. I’m sorry to break it to you, but if you hate Israel that much, you’re going to be living a very different kind of life.”

This is the state of Zionist arguments in 2026, a sure sign that they’re struggling desperately as they lose their propaganda war. Does Huckabee really think that we won’t have phones and GPS without a tiny apartheid state in the Middle East? And even crazier: does he think he’s going to win hearts and minds with “You can’t have cherry tomatoes without genocide!”

[Those cherry tomatoes, by the way, are grown on occupied Palestinian soil]

And that’s not the only front on which the elites are losing the global narrative. Donald Trump’s new White House ballroom is set to cost hundreds of millions of dollars of taxpayer money. Congressman Greg Casar of Texas asked Education Secretary and former WWE executive Linda McMahon:

“For the $1 billion we're being asked to spend on Trump's ballroom, we could fund 217 million free school lunches and 15,000 more teachers. As secretary of education, which do you think helps our nation more?”

Then comes a pause big enough to fit a seedless watermelon. Finally, McMahon responds: “I think those are incredibly weird comparisons.”

As dark as these days may seem, something tells us that slowly but surely we’re getting to these people, as the one thing the elites hate the most is to be mocked. Watch Katie and Aaron do what they do best, from JD Vance to Mike Johnson to Kash Patel, we’re taking them down.

Subscribe to watch the full episode here:

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Somebody check in on Pete Hegseth...
The Secretary of War begs for $1.5 trillion more for war in a weird preschool-style cartoon

From a weird empty void, surrounded by cartoon drawings of guns and moneybags, with hand-drawn and number-free graphs floating by, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth makes a plea for $1.5 trillion to be added to the Pentagon budget to fuel Trump’s endless wars.

And his pitch? The US will actually be saving money with the Pentagon having its most inflated budget of all time. This is because, uh, it’s going to be run like a business, not bureaucracy, and um, instead of the bureaucrats from before it’s now going to be cool, cigar-smoking old businessmen who call themselves Deal Team Six and probably have a cool secret handshake.

“It’s simple,” Hegseth claims, “we now move at the speed of business.”

Ohh, we move at the speed of business.

So, since it’s run like a business, does that mean it will have profits? And will those profits go to the services that Trump gutted, like childcare, Medicaid, and Medicare? (An answer to this question was not covered in Pete’s cartoon).

Katie and Aaron pick apart Hegseth’s incredibly disingenuous cartoon slop, showing why it’s not just wrong, but dumb too. Plus, the Fraudfather, aka the ADL’s Jonathan Greenblatt released an annual report of antisemitic incidents, and Aaron and Katie struggle not to laugh while reading through some of them.

It’s a lot of the same vibe as this gem:

 

There’s so much madness: watch with Katie and Aaron so you can laugh instead of cry at it all. Thanks for supporting independent media, subscribe to watch the full episode here:

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