Useful Idiots
Politics • Comedy
"F you!" – Morning Joe gets desperate
Plus, John Kirby wishes he could stop funneling weapons to Israel
March 07, 2024
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“F you, if you can’t handle the truth!” spews a smug Joe Scarborough, who readies his hundreds of viewers for the truth bomb he’s about to drop: “This version of Biden, intellectually, analytically, is the best Biden ever.”

BOOM! Can’t handle it? EFF YOU!

If you don’t believe that this senile warmonger, as Chas Freeman called him, is the best Biden ever, you’re actually among the majority of the country, even the majority of Democrats, but you’d all be wrong, because, and here’s the proof, Morning Joe adds: “If it weren’t the truth, I wouldn’t say it.”

And if you continue with the theme of believing the words of raging propagandists, you’re gonna feel really bad for John Kirby, who wishes so hard that he had the strength to stop flooding Israel with weapons. Hear him refer to the millions of starving Palestinians as if the food shortage is some unavoidable natural disaster, rather than his personal handiwork.

But it’s not all good news for the warmongers…today we’re pouring one out for one of America’s most dangerous (and most bipartisan) neocons, Victoria Nuland. Her sudden exit comes just days after she threatened Putin (with whom, if you recall, the US is not currently engaged in war) with “some very nasty surprises on the battlefield in 2024.” No word yet if that’s the reason for her surprise departure.

It’s a busy week, with even some visits from Useful Idiots favorites Brian Stelter and the Chuckster. You won’t want to miss it.

It’s our Thursday bonus episode. Let us know in the comments what corporate media monologues, interviews, or anything else you want to see on the next Thursday Throwdown.

Subscribe to watch the full episode here:

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Sanctions Are a Form of Warfare

“Sanctions are a form of war. They’re economic warfare. And they destroy people’s lives.”

Joshua Landis (https://twitter.com/joshua_landis), Sandra Mackey Chair in Middle East Studies at the University of Oklahoma, is one of the foremost experts on Syria. This week, as Syria, along with neighbor Turkiye, grapples with the aftermath of the devastating earthquake, Professor Landis joins the Useful Idiots to explain the deadly consequences that sanctions pile on to the damage.

“America likes to talk about all its precision bombing and hitting someone with a drone to avoid collateral damage,” Landis explains. “But sanctions? It’s all about collateral damage. Very little of it is targeted.”

But if you read corporate media outlets like the New York Times or Washington Post, you’d find a much different story. Both papers this week published headlines that were hastily changed when they realized they were being a little too truthful. See if you can tell the difference:

The ...

00:01:17
"Shameful" New York Times Changes Headline to Protect Sanctions

“Sanctions are a form of war. They’re economic warfare. And they destroy people’s lives.”

Joshua Landis (https://twitter.com/joshua_landis), Sandra Mackey Chair in Middle East Studies at the University of Oklahoma, is one of the foremost experts on Syria. This week, as Syria, along with neighbor Turkiye, grapples with the aftermath of the devastating earthquake, Professor Landis joins the Useful Idiots to explain the deadly consequences that sanctions pile on to the damage.

“America likes to talk about all its precision bombing and hitting someone with a drone to avoid collateral damage,” Landis explains. “But sanctions? It’s all about collateral damage. Very little of it is targeted.”

But if you read corporate media outlets like the New York Times or Washington Post, you’d find a much different story. Both papers this week published headlines that were hastily changed when they realized they were being a little too truthful. See if you can tell the difference:

The ...

00:01:24
Free preview: Matt Taibbi Exposes Russiagate Bots

With Matt Taibbi’s Twitter Files and Jeff Gerth’s new in-depth reporting for CJR exposing the years of lies spread by Russiagaters, bitter attacks from outed journalists are rolling in.

Gerth and Taibbi, who come from the old style of journalism where you fact check your work and don’t accept government officials’ claims on faith, have each shown clear, indisputable evidence of disinformation campaigns pushed by corporate reporters. And since the so-called journalists can’t argue the facts, they dig themselves a deeper hole with more lies and name-calling.

Jeff Gerth has been working as a reporter for decades and published, in the very mainstream Columbia Journalism Review, a 20,000-word report on his findings, only to be called a liar and misdirecting magician in the most self-important article by Mother Jones’ David Corn (“The true media failure is that Trump got away with it and that articles like this one that you are now reading are still necessary.”) And possibly worse ...

00:54:34

Emphasized "Dancing with 88

I have altered space here—   to

a rupture in the silent fabric,

where every atom reclaims its song.

A change, seen on my 90° angle,

becomes the pivot of a daring ballet,

the precise intersection where fate unspools.

In that crisp right-angle lie the secrets

of all absorbed twilight and reborn dawns,

a moment where geometry becomes prophecy,

transmuting static lines into dynamic rhythms,

inviting the cosmos to twirl in unexpected arcs.

And then—

I find myself dancing with 88,

a numeral of resonance, a muse of mystery.

It whispers in binary beats,

each pulse a portal leading into

symphonies scribbled on the canvas of space-time.

This is no choreographed routine,

but a wild, liberated waltz

where dimensions bend and merge—

where the old order crumbles

under the heat of relentless transformation

and every step unearths a layer of being.

At that 90° juncture,

the universe unfolds like a secret map,

revealing uncharted realms in every fracture,

while 88 becomes the score for a cosmic ballet,

...

Has the Gaza Pier Been Beached? | Army Watercraft come ashore off Gaza and Israel

March 26, 2024

Good to be part of the community. I think that Aaron and Katie do a brilliant job in these hellish times when such great in - depth research and reporting are essential.

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Somebody check in on Pete Hegseth...
The Secretary of War begs for $1.5 trillion more for war in a weird preschool-style cartoon

From a weird empty void, surrounded by cartoon drawings of guns and moneybags, with hand-drawn and number-free graphs floating by, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth makes a plea for $1.5 trillion to be added to the Pentagon budget to fuel Trump’s endless wars.

And his pitch? The US will actually be saving money with the Pentagon having its most inflated budget of all time. This is because, uh, it’s going to be run like a business, not bureaucracy, and um, instead of the bureaucrats from before it’s now going to be cool, cigar-smoking old businessmen who call themselves Deal Team Six and probably have a cool secret handshake.

“It’s simple,” Hegseth claims, “we now move at the speed of business.”

Ohh, we move at the speed of business.

So, since it’s run like a business, does that mean it will have profits? And will those profits go to the services that Trump gutted, like childcare, Medicaid, and Medicare? (An answer to this question was not covered in Pete’s cartoon).

Katie and Aaron pick apart Hegseth’s incredibly disingenuous cartoon slop, showing why it’s not just wrong, but dumb too. Plus, the Fraudfather, aka the ADL’s Jonathan Greenblatt released an annual report of antisemitic incidents, and Aaron and Katie struggle not to laugh while reading through some of them.

It’s a lot of the same vibe as this gem:

 

There’s so much madness: watch with Katie and Aaron so you can laugh instead of cry at it all. Thanks for supporting independent media, subscribe to watch the full episode here:

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"Gas prices may be up, but you'll be happy to know that Iranians can't feed themselves."
National Economic Council Director Kevin Hassett has a solution for Americans who can't pay their bills

When even the Fox Business host thinks your economic plan stinks, you know something’s very wrong.

After gas prices have shot up and Americans face an affordability crisis due to Trump’s disastrous war-of-choice on Iran, National Economic Council Director Kevin Hassett somehow argues that this will help Republicans in upcoming elections.

“People vote their wallets,” he tells Fox Business host Stuart Varney. “I don’t really trust surveys.”

“But you gotta look at the numbers,” Varney says, doing his best to hide his concern in an effort to make Hassett look good, an apparently impossible and thankless job. “I mean, you got an average of regular [gas] of $4.35 a gallon. It's up 7 cents overnight. Diesel is $5.60. That hits voters hard. Can you give us any idea about when they’re going to come down?”

And to this, the always-grinning Hassett gives one of the most psychopathic and out-of-touch answers we’ve heard yet on a Friday Free-for-All:

“Well,” he smirks, thinking he has the perfect solution for Americans who are struggling to pay for gas and feed their children. “It you look at the situation in Iran, the Iranian economy is completely on the ropes, they’re running out of food, and a huge amount of the feed that goes to their animals is having trouble getting through the gulf.”

So the next time you’re stressed about your bills, Americans, just remember, Iranians can’t feed themselves because of murderous sanctions imposed on them by the US. Kevin Hassett thinks that’ll make you feel all better.

Plus, Bill Maher gives the most snowflake answer imaginable for why he thinks he’s been “soft canceled,” EU President Ursula von der Leyen says she’s stopping human rights abuses against Iranian women (by killing them), Pete Hegseth gets destroyed by Useful Idiots guest Rep. Ro Khanna, and so much more madness.

Subscribe to support our work and watch the full episode here:

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Washington Post Columnist: "Kill the Iranian Leaders That Don't Want a Deal."
Plus, a Congressional candidate thinks saying "genocide" is as bad as the N-word

“What should happen if the Iranians don’t come to the table after 72 hours?”

This was asked to Washington Post columnist Marc Thiessen, author of such lines as “Iran is a death cult running a country,” who has previously campaigned for the use of enhanced interrogation techniques (AKA torture). You know, a real Washington Post type.

His answer: “If there are two factions in Iran, one that wants a deal and one that doesn’t, let’s kill the ones that don’t want a deal.” He pauses to laugh, and continues, “It’s that simple! We’ve killed over 50 Iranian leaders so far, let’s end the ceasefire and finish the job.”

It’s mafia-boss mentality with a war crime twist. When the New Nuremberg Trials begin, remember to add Thiessen to the list of complicit journalists, under T next to Tapper.

Katie and Aaron are all over this, plus about a million other war-crime whispers strewn across corporate media this week: Bill Maher is devastated over Democrats turning on his beloved Israel, former Biden National Security Advisor Jake Sullivan can’t believe anyone (other than himself) would help Israel commit mass murder, a Congressman grossly refers to the US as a “dominant predator,” and more skincrawllers all over mainstream media.

It’s dirty work watching all this news. If you want to support the show, please consider subscribing. You can watch the full episode here:

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