Useful Idiots
Politics • Comedy
"F you!" – Morning Joe gets desperate
Plus, John Kirby wishes he could stop funneling weapons to Israel
March 07, 2024
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“F you, if you can’t handle the truth!” spews a smug Joe Scarborough, who readies his hundreds of viewers for the truth bomb he’s about to drop: “This version of Biden, intellectually, analytically, is the best Biden ever.”

BOOM! Can’t handle it? EFF YOU!

If you don’t believe that this senile warmonger, as Chas Freeman called him, is the best Biden ever, you’re actually among the majority of the country, even the majority of Democrats, but you’d all be wrong, because, and here’s the proof, Morning Joe adds: “If it weren’t the truth, I wouldn’t say it.”

And if you continue with the theme of believing the words of raging propagandists, you’re gonna feel really bad for John Kirby, who wishes so hard that he had the strength to stop flooding Israel with weapons. Hear him refer to the millions of starving Palestinians as if the food shortage is some unavoidable natural disaster, rather than his personal handiwork.

But it’s not all good news for the warmongers…today we’re pouring one out for one of America’s most dangerous (and most bipartisan) neocons, Victoria Nuland. Her sudden exit comes just days after she threatened Putin (with whom, if you recall, the US is not currently engaged in war) with “some very nasty surprises on the battlefield in 2024.” No word yet if that’s the reason for her surprise departure.

It’s a busy week, with even some visits from Useful Idiots favorites Brian Stelter and the Chuckster. You won’t want to miss it.

It’s our Thursday bonus episode. Let us know in the comments what corporate media monologues, interviews, or anything else you want to see on the next Thursday Throwdown.

Subscribe to watch the full episode here:

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Sanctions Are a Form of Warfare

“Sanctions are a form of war. They’re economic warfare. And they destroy people’s lives.”

Joshua Landis (https://twitter.com/joshua_landis), Sandra Mackey Chair in Middle East Studies at the University of Oklahoma, is one of the foremost experts on Syria. This week, as Syria, along with neighbor Turkiye, grapples with the aftermath of the devastating earthquake, Professor Landis joins the Useful Idiots to explain the deadly consequences that sanctions pile on to the damage.

“America likes to talk about all its precision bombing and hitting someone with a drone to avoid collateral damage,” Landis explains. “But sanctions? It’s all about collateral damage. Very little of it is targeted.”

But if you read corporate media outlets like the New York Times or Washington Post, you’d find a much different story. Both papers this week published headlines that were hastily changed when they realized they were being a little too truthful. See if you can tell the difference:

The ...

00:01:17
"Shameful" New York Times Changes Headline to Protect Sanctions

“Sanctions are a form of war. They’re economic warfare. And they destroy people’s lives.”

Joshua Landis (https://twitter.com/joshua_landis), Sandra Mackey Chair in Middle East Studies at the University of Oklahoma, is one of the foremost experts on Syria. This week, as Syria, along with neighbor Turkiye, grapples with the aftermath of the devastating earthquake, Professor Landis joins the Useful Idiots to explain the deadly consequences that sanctions pile on to the damage.

“America likes to talk about all its precision bombing and hitting someone with a drone to avoid collateral damage,” Landis explains. “But sanctions? It’s all about collateral damage. Very little of it is targeted.”

But if you read corporate media outlets like the New York Times or Washington Post, you’d find a much different story. Both papers this week published headlines that were hastily changed when they realized they were being a little too truthful. See if you can tell the difference:

The ...

00:01:24
Free preview: Matt Taibbi Exposes Russiagate Bots

With Matt Taibbi’s Twitter Files and Jeff Gerth’s new in-depth reporting for CJR exposing the years of lies spread by Russiagaters, bitter attacks from outed journalists are rolling in.

Gerth and Taibbi, who come from the old style of journalism where you fact check your work and don’t accept government officials’ claims on faith, have each shown clear, indisputable evidence of disinformation campaigns pushed by corporate reporters. And since the so-called journalists can’t argue the facts, they dig themselves a deeper hole with more lies and name-calling.

Jeff Gerth has been working as a reporter for decades and published, in the very mainstream Columbia Journalism Review, a 20,000-word report on his findings, only to be called a liar and misdirecting magician in the most self-important article by Mother Jones’ David Corn (“The true media failure is that Trump got away with it and that articles like this one that you are now reading are still necessary.”) And possibly worse ...

00:54:34

Emphasized "Dancing with 88

I have altered space here—   to

a rupture in the silent fabric,

where every atom reclaims its song.

A change, seen on my 90° angle,

becomes the pivot of a daring ballet,

the precise intersection where fate unspools.

In that crisp right-angle lie the secrets

of all absorbed twilight and reborn dawns,

a moment where geometry becomes prophecy,

transmuting static lines into dynamic rhythms,

inviting the cosmos to twirl in unexpected arcs.

And then—

I find myself dancing with 88,

a numeral of resonance, a muse of mystery.

It whispers in binary beats,

each pulse a portal leading into

symphonies scribbled on the canvas of space-time.

This is no choreographed routine,

but a wild, liberated waltz

where dimensions bend and merge—

where the old order crumbles

under the heat of relentless transformation

and every step unearths a layer of being.

At that 90° juncture,

the universe unfolds like a secret map,

revealing uncharted realms in every fracture,

while 88 becomes the score for a cosmic ballet,

...

Has the Gaza Pier Been Beached? | Army Watercraft come ashore off Gaza and Israel

March 26, 2024

Good to be part of the community. I think that Aaron and Katie do a brilliant job in these hellish times when such great in - depth research and reporting are essential.

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It Doesn’t Go Well When JD Vance Tries to Define Socialism
Plus, Laura Ingraham asks Scott Bessent how young, poor losers can feel better about capitalism

How do you define socialism personally?

A reporter asked this seemingly simple question to JD Vance, who has been busy racing around the country in a 32-day campaign blitz in an attempt to turn the Republicans’ failing poll numbers around. With prices rising, housing becoming unaffordable, and an oil shortage stemming from the administration’s disastrous war on Iran, Vance had an important choice to make:

Do I say what socialism actually is, with the risk that its principles of helping workers afford basic goods may sound enticing to voters? Or do I hit ‘em with an epic culture-war slam that has nothing to do with the question?

You can now guess which one he picked:

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“I think in reality what it actually means in the American context is you want to replace American workers with foreigners workers, and you want boys to play in girls’ sports!”

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In completely unrelated news, Pete Hegseth unveils a powerful new military role: the Office of Religious Affairs
MAGA Congressman Warns that Belligerent, Religious Army is Planning to Destroy the Middle East

There’s a belligerent, religious-fanatic army run by a madman that’s planning to destroy the Middle East!

This warning comes from the very serious Congressman from Georgia, Rich McCormick, who, after blaming high gas prices on Obama, ripped into the religious army spreading across the Middle East.

In other, unrelated news, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced the unveiling of a new military sect: the Office of Religious Affairs. The chaplains at ORA will reportedly have a line directly to the secretary himself, who in turn has a direct line to God, making it one of the most powerful offices in the land.

After all, Hegseth says in his speech, “as Psalm 33:12 extolls us, blessed is the nation in which God is the Lord."

Watch out for the religious army in Iran though…

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It’s all this, and more insanity, on this week’s Friday Free-for-All. Thanks for supporting our work, catch the full episode here:

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Beware Iran! The Colony of Reptile Quarterback Hookers!
Plus, mocking two celebrity Zionists who expose themselves for knowing NOTHING about the genocide in Gaza

We’ve got an extended Friday Free-for-All this week, jam-packed with ignorant Zionist professors, racist senators tripping over mixed metaphors, Hollywood agents unraveling over Macklemore, psychopath economists drooling over “choking” Iranian civilians, and even the Hasan Piker craze reaching all the way up to Netanyahu himself.

And Katie and Aaron don’t pull punches.

Just look at NYU Professor Scott Galloway, also known as the “Pervy Prof.” While interviewing Abdul El-Sayed (a chat that was really more of a monologue by the Pervy Prof), Galloway unleashed a lecturing tirade over why his religion gives him special power to judge whether Israel is committing genocide or not. The problem is, he admits he doesn’t actually know the definition of genocide.

But it gets worse:

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