Useful Idiots
Politics • Comedy
Ted Cruz on Liberal Women’s Sex Lives
The nation's leading sex-positive senator is freaking out, all while liberals celebrate the end of democracy
December 21, 2023
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Listen up Liberal Ladies: if you’ve been feeling frustrated, look no further than Texas Senator Ted Cruz for guidance. He understands your plight…he wouldn’t want to “sleep with those liberal weenies” either. It’s a rant we didn’t expect, and didn’t really want to picture either, but compared to the rest of this throwdown, it counts as comic relief.

Because meanwhile…

The liberals he spoke of are currently celebrating the news that Donald Trump has been removed from ballots in the state of Colorado. While that may at first seem like a blatant blow to democracy, hear Rachel Maddow out first, who declares that this is actually quite normal for democracy.

Kellyanne Conway is also going wild while debuting her impression of Democrats, claiming that after waking up each morning and checking that their phones still say the date is January 6, 2021, they get in their electric cars and go get an abortion.”

President Biden is apparently busy getting stoned, because when a reporter asks if the US is expecting a hostage deal soon, he immediately replies “Yes!” But when he hears the reporter’s surprised reaction, Biden has to remember where he is: “Wait! Where?” he asks, before saying no, there is nothing expected.

And of course there’s RFK Jr, once a point of hope for antiwar Americans, now a further-right-wing bigot than Biden himself. Just wait until you hear him spew a tirade of AIPAC talking points.

And that’s not all, there’s so much more madness to get to. But don’t worry, with Katie and Aaron at your side, you’ll hopefully laugh instead of cry at the propagandistic nonsense pumped out by corporate media. It’s our Thursday bonus episode. Let us know in the comments what corporate media monologues, interviews, or anything else you want to see on the next Thursday Throwdown.

Subscribe for $6 a month to watch the episode here:

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Sanctions Are a Form of Warfare

“Sanctions are a form of war. They’re economic warfare. And they destroy people’s lives.”

Joshua Landis (https://twitter.com/joshua_landis), Sandra Mackey Chair in Middle East Studies at the University of Oklahoma, is one of the foremost experts on Syria. This week, as Syria, along with neighbor Turkiye, grapples with the aftermath of the devastating earthquake, Professor Landis joins the Useful Idiots to explain the deadly consequences that sanctions pile on to the damage.

“America likes to talk about all its precision bombing and hitting someone with a drone to avoid collateral damage,” Landis explains. “But sanctions? It’s all about collateral damage. Very little of it is targeted.”

But if you read corporate media outlets like the New York Times or Washington Post, you’d find a much different story. Both papers this week published headlines that were hastily changed when they realized they were being a little too truthful. See if you can tell the difference:

The ...

00:01:17
"Shameful" New York Times Changes Headline to Protect Sanctions

“Sanctions are a form of war. They’re economic warfare. And they destroy people’s lives.”

Joshua Landis (https://twitter.com/joshua_landis), Sandra Mackey Chair in Middle East Studies at the University of Oklahoma, is one of the foremost experts on Syria. This week, as Syria, along with neighbor Turkiye, grapples with the aftermath of the devastating earthquake, Professor Landis joins the Useful Idiots to explain the deadly consequences that sanctions pile on to the damage.

“America likes to talk about all its precision bombing and hitting someone with a drone to avoid collateral damage,” Landis explains. “But sanctions? It’s all about collateral damage. Very little of it is targeted.”

But if you read corporate media outlets like the New York Times or Washington Post, you’d find a much different story. Both papers this week published headlines that were hastily changed when they realized they were being a little too truthful. See if you can tell the difference:

The ...

00:01:24
Free preview: Matt Taibbi Exposes Russiagate Bots

With Matt Taibbi’s Twitter Files and Jeff Gerth’s new in-depth reporting for CJR exposing the years of lies spread by Russiagaters, bitter attacks from outed journalists are rolling in.

Gerth and Taibbi, who come from the old style of journalism where you fact check your work and don’t accept government officials’ claims on faith, have each shown clear, indisputable evidence of disinformation campaigns pushed by corporate reporters. And since the so-called journalists can’t argue the facts, they dig themselves a deeper hole with more lies and name-calling.

Jeff Gerth has been working as a reporter for decades and published, in the very mainstream Columbia Journalism Review, a 20,000-word report on his findings, only to be called a liar and misdirecting magician in the most self-important article by Mother Jones’ David Corn (“The true media failure is that Trump got away with it and that articles like this one that you are now reading are still necessary.”) And possibly worse ...

00:54:34

Emphasized "Dancing with 88

I have altered space here—   to

a rupture in the silent fabric,

where every atom reclaims its song.

A change, seen on my 90° angle,

becomes the pivot of a daring ballet,

the precise intersection where fate unspools.

In that crisp right-angle lie the secrets

of all absorbed twilight and reborn dawns,

a moment where geometry becomes prophecy,

transmuting static lines into dynamic rhythms,

inviting the cosmos to twirl in unexpected arcs.

And then—

I find myself dancing with 88,

a numeral of resonance, a muse of mystery.

It whispers in binary beats,

each pulse a portal leading into

symphonies scribbled on the canvas of space-time.

This is no choreographed routine,

but a wild, liberated waltz

where dimensions bend and merge—

where the old order crumbles

under the heat of relentless transformation

and every step unearths a layer of being.

At that 90° juncture,

the universe unfolds like a secret map,

revealing uncharted realms in every fracture,

while 88 becomes the score for a cosmic ballet,

...

Has the Gaza Pier Been Beached? | Army Watercraft come ashore off Gaza and Israel

March 26, 2024

Good to be part of the community. I think that Aaron and Katie do a brilliant job in these hellish times when such great in - depth research and reporting are essential.

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Beware Iran! The Colony of Reptile Quarterback Hookers!
Plus, mocking two celebrity Zionists who expose themselves for knowing NOTHING about the genocide in Gaza

We’ve got an extended Friday Free-for-All this week, jam-packed with ignorant Zionist professors, racist senators tripping over mixed metaphors, Hollywood agents unraveling over Macklemore, psychopath economists drooling over “choking” Iranian civilians, and even the Hasan Piker craze reaching all the way up to Netanyahu himself.

And Katie and Aaron don’t pull punches.

Just look at NYU Professor Scott Galloway, also known as the “Pervy Prof.” While interviewing Abdul El-Sayed (a chat that was really more of a monologue by the Pervy Prof), Galloway unleashed a lecturing tirade over why his religion gives him special power to judge whether Israel is committing genocide or not. The problem is, he admits he doesn’t actually know the definition of genocide.

But it gets worse:

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Antisemitism Czar Claims Macklemore is HIJACKING Concerts in Plot to Destroy Israel
Plus, JD Vance begs voters: “Give us another chance”

The rapper Macklemore said “Free Palestine.” It set off a Zionist meltdown.

This week, after pressure from New England Patriots owner and sex-worker employer Robert Kraft, Ed Sheeran proved himself a coward and removed Macklemore from his tour. The move led to widespread backlash against Ed Sheeran and Israeli power, but Ed can rejoice that he’s got at least one friend in his corner:

That’s right, it’s Donald Trump’s former antisemitism czar and CEO of the Adelson-funded Israeli-American Council Elan S. Carr!

In an interview, Carr gave some wild takes that certainly fit in with the Zionist stereotype of tone-deaf insanity:

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Hillary Clinton Claims Netanyahu KNEW About October 7 Before Attack
Plus, Hillary compares the DSA to neo-Nazis and Morning Joe gets in a Zionist screaming match with Donny Deutsch over Israel
A telling screenshot of today's episode
A telling screenshot from today's episode

Meet Hillary Clinton: tin-foil hatter!

During a crazy episode of Morning Joe (which had so much ridiculous content that it takes up the majority of this extended Friday Free-for-All), Hillary Clinton made the astonishing claim that Netanyahu (much like 9/11 theorists believe about George W. Bush) KNEW about the October 7 attacks BEFORE they happened and still let them occur.

Which begs the question:

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