Useful Idiots
Politics • Comedy
A "Non-Panicky" Nuclear War
Our neocon war leaders prepare us for world-ending destruction, but seriously, don't freak out
June 29, 2023
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The bipartisan neocon dream team Blumenthal and Graham are back with more hits that are surely to die for! This time they’re talking nukes: Russia is a threat for tactical nuclear weapons, they claim, which is why we need to arm the area with nuclear bombs of our own.

“This isn’t reckless or panicky,” Blumenthal says, breathing heavy with the wet, hot anticipation of explosions over Russia. And should the Russians use their weapons, well, he whispers a final warning, dripping with pleasure over the prospect of mushroom clouds spreading over Europe, death created by his own hand: “They will be destroyed. They will be eviscerated.”

Biden, meanwhile, also has high hopes for the war effort, giving a statement to reporters that “Putin is losing in Iraq.” Everyone felt too embarrassed to correct him.

And while our confused warmonger-in-chief is busy fighting to the last Ukrainian, his cronies at Pod Save America are hard at work campaigning for their boss: “Chastising works!” they laugh, planning out how to best vote-shame Americans into voting for Biden.

“If you live in a swing state,” host Jon Favreau lectures (and I’m now really wishing I hadn’t already used dripping for Blumenthal’s words), “And you vote for Cornel West, you’re helping Trump become president. That’s it. And you could say ‘Oh it’s Joe Biden’s fault he did this or that,’ no no no. It’s your decision. If you want to help Donald Trump become president, then you should vote for Cornel West.”

There’s so much to throw down on, and this article doesn’t even cover the Psaki and Christie and Jean-Pierre and MSNBC of it all. It’s a brutal week, and Katie and Aaron are here to mock every slimy politician and corporate pundit in their way.

It’s our Thursday bonus episode. Let us know in the comments what corporate media monologues, interviews, or anything else you want to see on the next Thursday Throwdown.

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Sanctions Are a Form of Warfare

“Sanctions are a form of war. They’re economic warfare. And they destroy people’s lives.”

Joshua Landis (https://twitter.com/joshua_landis), Sandra Mackey Chair in Middle East Studies at the University of Oklahoma, is one of the foremost experts on Syria. This week, as Syria, along with neighbor Turkiye, grapples with the aftermath of the devastating earthquake, Professor Landis joins the Useful Idiots to explain the deadly consequences that sanctions pile on to the damage.

“America likes to talk about all its precision bombing and hitting someone with a drone to avoid collateral damage,” Landis explains. “But sanctions? It’s all about collateral damage. Very little of it is targeted.”

But if you read corporate media outlets like the New York Times or Washington Post, you’d find a much different story. Both papers this week published headlines that were hastily changed when they realized they were being a little too truthful. See if you can tell the difference:

The ...

00:01:17
"Shameful" New York Times Changes Headline to Protect Sanctions

“Sanctions are a form of war. They’re economic warfare. And they destroy people’s lives.”

Joshua Landis (https://twitter.com/joshua_landis), Sandra Mackey Chair in Middle East Studies at the University of Oklahoma, is one of the foremost experts on Syria. This week, as Syria, along with neighbor Turkiye, grapples with the aftermath of the devastating earthquake, Professor Landis joins the Useful Idiots to explain the deadly consequences that sanctions pile on to the damage.

“America likes to talk about all its precision bombing and hitting someone with a drone to avoid collateral damage,” Landis explains. “But sanctions? It’s all about collateral damage. Very little of it is targeted.”

But if you read corporate media outlets like the New York Times or Washington Post, you’d find a much different story. Both papers this week published headlines that were hastily changed when they realized they were being a little too truthful. See if you can tell the difference:

The ...

00:01:24
Free preview: Matt Taibbi Exposes Russiagate Bots

With Matt Taibbi’s Twitter Files and Jeff Gerth’s new in-depth reporting for CJR exposing the years of lies spread by Russiagaters, bitter attacks from outed journalists are rolling in.

Gerth and Taibbi, who come from the old style of journalism where you fact check your work and don’t accept government officials’ claims on faith, have each shown clear, indisputable evidence of disinformation campaigns pushed by corporate reporters. And since the so-called journalists can’t argue the facts, they dig themselves a deeper hole with more lies and name-calling.

Jeff Gerth has been working as a reporter for decades and published, in the very mainstream Columbia Journalism Review, a 20,000-word report on his findings, only to be called a liar and misdirecting magician in the most self-important article by Mother Jones’ David Corn (“The true media failure is that Trump got away with it and that articles like this one that you are now reading are still necessary.”) And possibly worse ...

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Emphasized "Dancing with 88

I have altered space here—   to

a rupture in the silent fabric,

where every atom reclaims its song.

A change, seen on my 90° angle,

becomes the pivot of a daring ballet,

the precise intersection where fate unspools.

In that crisp right-angle lie the secrets

of all absorbed twilight and reborn dawns,

a moment where geometry becomes prophecy,

transmuting static lines into dynamic rhythms,

inviting the cosmos to twirl in unexpected arcs.

And then—

I find myself dancing with 88,

a numeral of resonance, a muse of mystery.

It whispers in binary beats,

each pulse a portal leading into

symphonies scribbled on the canvas of space-time.

This is no choreographed routine,

but a wild, liberated waltz

where dimensions bend and merge—

where the old order crumbles

under the heat of relentless transformation

and every step unearths a layer of being.

At that 90° juncture,

the universe unfolds like a secret map,

revealing uncharted realms in every fracture,

while 88 becomes the score for a cosmic ballet,

...

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March 26, 2024

Good to be part of the community. I think that Aaron and Katie do a brilliant job in these hellish times when such great in - depth research and reporting are essential.

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New Yorker's David Remnick Gets SCHOOLED By DSA Chair Over Ukraine
Plus, Hillary Clinton thinks SHE can talk about how to get elected in Michigan

The topic of Ukraine comes up during an interview in which New Yorker editor-in-chief David Remnick speaks to the co-chair of the Democratic Socialists of America Megan Romer like she’s a little baby – the type of smug downtalk that’s especially mastered by corporate liberals.

What’s strange is that Remnick, who lived in Russia for many years and won a Pulitzer Prize writing about the Soviet Union, seems to know nothing about how the Ukraine War began, asking in a kindergarten voice for Megan to please explain to him why the US shouldn’t be funneling hundreds of billions of dollars of weapons into Ukraine.

“We should be sending huge teams of diplomats,” Megan says, “figuring out how to negotiate, and get Russia off Ukraine’s back.”

He gives a soft smirk, oh little baby, and responds:

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Laura Ingraham Wants to Rip Abdul El-Sayed's Tight, Communist Shirt Off and Yell At Him All Over
Plus: "A Jew can't make a book deal!" says a Jew who got a book deal

Fox News is getting hot and bothered over Abdul El-Sayed’s $32 million upset in the Michigan Senate race. Laura Ingraham tries to keep her cool while playing video of “the socialist dreamboat” working out, describing his “gym-rat flex and his tight-fitting black tee.”

Will voters really fall for it? she asks, attempting to maintain her trademark smug sarcasm, but bursting from underneath the facade is something else…

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Rahm Emanual Stands Up to Zohran Mamdani in a Fake Story He Made Up About His Terrorist Dad
Plus, Energy Secretary Chris Wright says don't blame data centers for record-high electricity prices. Blame Obama.

Rahm Emanuel (whose father was an Israeli terrorist), completely SCHOOLED Zohran Mamdani! He says he walked right up to Zohran and said “I’m my father’s son,” (his father being an Israeli terrorist) “and when you chant ‘From the river to the sea,’ I say ‘Over my dead body!’”

Wow, wow, powerful! Zohran must’ve been very afraid!

One problem: Zohran has never said ‘From the river to the sea.’ He’s been pushed to many times, but has never said it.

And another, slightly bigger problem: Mamdani and his office claim this meeting between him and Emanuel never actually happened. Rahm made it up.

But luckily, not everything there was a lie: Rahm’s father really was an Israeli terrorist.

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